When I first started out years ago… I’d heard the phrase “fake it until you make it.”
When it comes to confidence, I believe this is terrible advice.
I believe confidence develops from 3 factors:
Let me explain…
WHAT YOU FOCUS ON
I mentioned previously that it’s hard to focus on building wealth if you’re always focused on lack, poverty, poorness, etc.
The reason why is because that type of mental focus kills any imagination about possibility or opportunity.
The same applies to confidence.
If you’re so focused on screwing up, or not getting the end result you’re after… it’ll be difficult to have any confidence in seeing yourself achieve that goal, or even take action forward.
Instead, I recommend visualizing achieving your end goal. And asking open-ended questions that stimulate ideas about how you can potentially achieve your goal. This will stimulate possibility and opportunity, instead of shutting yourself down completely.
This leads to my next point.
I believe those same core beliefs apply to confidence.
Namely, you definitely want to see yourself achieving your goal. But you must also expect setbacks, which you must overcome. And you must also not make the mistake of identifying with failure.
Going in and faking confidence when you experience setbacks, in my opinion, is not helpful.
Does it really make sense to go into the unknown trying to feel confident about what you don’t know?
It’s like being dropped into a pitch black room and being confident you’ll find the exit on your first try. I don’t see how faking confidence here helps. Instead, focus on what you want to achieve, expect the setbacks, ask open-ended questions that present opportunities for you to take, and repeat.
This leads to my next point.
I believe true, lasting confidence can’t be faked. It must come from competence.
Competence, to me, simply means you’re sure enough that if you follow through on a certain action then you’ll get the result you’re looking for.
For example, most people tend to lack confidence when speaking in front of a large audience. I used to lack confidence as well. But that’s no longer the case. In fact, I’ve done presentations for marketing seminars multiple times.
So what changed?
I was competent in what I was presenting. In other words, I know what I’m talking about.
And how do I know what I’m talking about? Because I’ve spent years marketing online. And through those years I’ve experienced setbacks, overcame them, hit milestones, set new milestones, experienced setbacks, overcame them, and it repeats.
Again, for real confidence you must build competence. It can’t be faked. And of course, to follow through you must have the core beliefs I mentioned in place to achieve the end goal (mental focus) that you want.
Remember, I’m sharing all these mindset posts because it’s 100 times way more important than the “how to”.
Years ago, I had the same fundamental “how to” information I have now. Yet, I only experienced real financial breakthroughs when I started working on my core beliefs. The beliefs come before the action. And the disciplined action helps you reach your end goal.
But poor beliefs will result in lack of action, inconsistent action, or giving up entirely… therefore, no end goal will be reached.
I’ll put all my money on the newcoming entrepreneur that focuses the majority of his time working on mindset because I know I can teach him anything; and they’ll have the core beliefs in place to make it happen. On the other hand, I have zero confidence that the newcomer who continually seeks “how to” information will achieve the end result they’re after.
A student sent me a question about how to stay positive.
Here’s a copy of his full question, along with my response. Maybe it can help you as well.
I’ve a question regarding mindset.. How can we keep our mindset positive? Positive in the sense we feel happy and focus on work.. Since I am struggling financially It is hard to keep my mind focused at work. My mind thinks only about the lack of money and this thought process further leads to more negativity. It makes me feel very bad that I haven’t started earning and because of this I am not able to work on my skills. How can I get rid of this situation?
One is to realize you’re already rich. For example, you’re so focused on what you don’t have that you forget to realize the abundance around you.
Think about it… you have access to Internet, electricity, etc. You have access to make money online. There are literally BILLIONS of people that don’t easily have this access. Your worst nightmare is someone else’s dream goal.
Things changed for me when I started to focus on the abundance around me. AND how I was taking progress, no matter how small, towards a goal that leveraged my skills and fulfilled me.
Focus on the change that you’re actually creating to change your life. Focus on how you’re actually already living the life you’re aiming to create. Focus on asking questions that put you in positive state of mind.
The daily habit of controlling your mental and emotional state is the skill all the rookies overlook. This is the edge. It’s not the know-how. It’s about knowing how to keep yourself in peak state each day so you can actually take action on the know-how and stay in the game when things don’t seemingly go your way.
Today, I want to share an insight on what separates successful students (and those that reach their financial goals) versus those that do not.
I believe there are 5 major reasons that prevent most people from reaching financial independence.
- Not Knowing How Money Moves
- Conflicting BELIEFS About Earning Money
- Conflicting VALUES About Earning Money
- Lack of Discipline
- Money Management
Let’s dive into this:
1: NOT KNOWING HOW MONEY MOVES
I see newcomers wanting to earn more money, yet they don’t even understand how money moves.
Here’s what I mean… Money is simply a transaction agreement. For example, if you sell your car for $5,000 you believe it’s worth that much and the buyer also believes it’s worth that much.
So in order for you to earn money you need to offer something that others believe is worth a certain amount. It’s NOT about what technology or new trend is working to make money.
Therefore, if you want to earn more money you need to focus on FINDING OUT WHAT OTHERS VALUE AND OFFER IT.
If you’re a Digital Flipping student you already know this principle of understanding what people want and giving it to them. In the future, I’ll teach you how to do this on a massive scale via paid advertising.
2: CONFLICTING BELIEFS ABOUT EARNING MONEY
It’s hard to earn more money if you’ve developed some sort of negative association with earning money.
For example, if you believe rich people are evil… then you will not want to earn more because who wants to be an evil jerk?
The crazy thing is a lot of conflicting beliefs are hard-wired into us subconsciously and repeatedly via pop culture, parents, schooling, friends, etc. And lots of times you may not even know it exists until you start actually making more money and, for some reason, start to feel bad about it.
To get rid of conflicting beliefs you’ll need to identify which ones are limiting you. Then you need to question each one and ask if it’s true? Does it serve you? What are examples that prove your conflicting belief is false?
If you have some conflicting beliefs you’re not sure how to get rid of… comment below and I’ll help you with that.
3: CONFLICTING VALUES ABOUT EARNING MONEY
Look, if your highest value is to just live comfortably, pay the bills, rely on social security, etc…. then, chances are, you have a conflicting belief about earning life-changing income.
For me, Self Reliance is my number one value. I don’t want to rely on an employer or business to succeed for the next 50 years in order to get paid. I don’t want to rely on earning money that is getting deflated and barely enough to pay the bills. I don’t want to rely on a broke government that’s trillions in debt and confesses social security will disappear.
If you really want to earn life-changing income your values must align as such.
4: LACK OF DISCIPLINE
As I say, it’s all about the follow through. Think of it this way: Imagine you want to lose 20lbs. Now, only go to the gym ONE TIME in next year. Are you going to reach your goals? Laughably, no. Am I right?
So isn’t it just as laughable to say you want to earn a million bucks… then take a course, try what you learned for one day, then give up and look for another “financial workout plan”?
It’s all about doing the things you know you should be doing… over and over… until you see some results or realize you need to adjust… then repeat.
So for you to achieve your financial goals, your financial “workout” should include:
- Observing what people buy
- Providing better offers
- Reaching more people
If you’re not doing activities that fall into one of those three categories you are not following through on your financial workout.
If you’re a Digital Flipping student, your financial workout would be looking through the job feed (observing what people buy), and submitting proposals (providing better offers). Again, I’ll teach you how to scale with paid advertising in my future affiliate marketing course.
5: MONEY MANAGEMENT
If someone is a millionaire, it means two things: 1) They provided value worth millions, and 2) They SAVED their millions.
Look, one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made years ago was that once I started making some money I spent it all. My number one value back then was IMAGE; specifically, the image of success.
I rented out the flashiest condo where celebs lived in my area so I could LOOK successful. I easily spent $100 per meal every day. I’d buy things I’d use once. And the list of stupidity goes on…
Eventually life taught me a valuable lesson when that income stream dried up… I learned to be a wise steward of money, and prioritize my number one value into self reliance.
I suggest that all your business earnings are invested into assets. And I also recommend you read up on P.T. flag theory.
The point is: Prioritize investing your money so that it makes more money for you and so that your hard work doesn’t disappear with your spending habits.
Remember, this post is part of the Unit “Creating Your Dream Life”. Be sure to read the other posts because I believe it’s more important than the “how to” information. Also, let me know what you think below… and how else I can help!
Yesterday, I talked about the 5 factors I think stop people from financial success.
Today, I want go into more detail regarding “Conflicting Beliefs” because… I think it’s perhaps one of the most important aspects of financial independence that nearly every newcomer ignores.
Now, one of the biggest conflicting beliefs I’ve noticed within myself during my early years… and nearly every newcomer is…
The Belief of Lack
For example, those pursuing financial independence want an abundance of money in their lives… yet they’re so focused on lack.
They’re focused on the money they don’t have… the materials they don’t have… the time they don’t have… etc. etc.
But, in reality, lack is an illusion.
If you’re reading this… it’s highly likely you’re living a wealthy lifestyle, but you’re just not DIRECTING YOUR FOCUS on the abundance in your life.
For example, if you have Internet access… you have the world’s knowledge at your fingertips. You also have a global reach. You can learn about any solution to solve your current problems. You can deliver value to millions of people, get paid handsomely, and never even leave your room. It’s fucking nuts.
So the first step is redirecting your focus. Focus on how rich you are now. If you’ve got running water, electricity, Internet, etc. you are spoiled as fuck. Again, it’s hard to focus on building your own financial abundance if all you’re focused on is what’s lacking in your life.
Two, you also need to develop an abundance of ideas. Yesterday, I mentioned discipline to follow through. Well, you’re obviously going to need a plan to follow through on. Again, the Internet has a lot of solutions.
For everyone else, I suggest READING BOOKS or TAKING COURSES. After you go through say 50 – 100 ideas… PICK ONE. Chances are, nearly all the ideas work IF YOU WORK THEM.
If you’re coming with your own ideas, some tips to help: 1) Observe what people are already buying, 2) Create a better offer, 3) Reach more people.
Also, if you’re not aware of your strengths yet… I HIGHLY recommend taking the Gallup Strengths Finder test. This could be extremely useful in helping you decide which ideas to follow through on. (I remember when I took it, it only cost $15 or so.)
For example, my results suggested that, career-wise, I should be doing something in marketing. Well, at that time I was already do paid advertising so it confirmed I was leveraging my strengths. But it also gave me some additional insight as to how to restructure my business. So I recommend you check that out.
In short –
1. Focus on the abundance in your life (gratitude journal is something I do)
2. Come up with ideas daily to solve your problems.
3. Choose one and follow through
Again, this helps you focus on opportunity, creation, abundance… not lack.
So a student posted this in the Facebook group…
Fear of failure..
Hey guys, I am a software engineer by profession, working remotely to a software company in US(small team). Currently I am in Canada (originally from Nepal). From past 6 month i have been thinking of starting my own software development agency and I have also got a client (my current employer is happy to become my first client) but fear of failure is pulling me down. When I want to start then I start to think stuff like what if i dont get another client, What to do after my current client work is finished, where to find another client, can i sustain in long term blah blah.. because of these kind of fears I am still unable to start.
Any suggestion on how to overcome fear of failure? Also any practicle advice on finding clients?
P.s. please excuse any grammatical errors, I am posting this from my phone.
Great work on putting yourself out there.
First, are you a Digital Flipping student? Why not just use Upwork to find more clients and close more deals? It’s the same principle of understanding what people want, but in this case you’ll actually do the work.
Two, on failure: I got rid of my fear of failure by redefining what failure means to me. To me everything is a learning experience. For example, in your case, if you don’t get another client… then you need to LEARN how to get another one. If you’re afraid of your current client work is finished you need to LEARN how to upsell more services.
I don’t see myself “failing” a lot… I see myself LEARNING a lot. And when you learn about how to rise out situations you do not like then you naturally build more and more confidence.
Hope that helps.
Another thing that has helped me get over my own fear of failure…
It was the mindset that giving up on my dreams would be more painful than not trying at all.
For example, in my early entrepreneurial years I’ve developed the mindset that GIVING UP IS ULTIMATE FAILURE. Temporary challenges, on the other hand, I can learn to overcome.
That same mindset has helped me do some crazy things that, looking back, I couldn’t believe I did.
For example, when I mentioned buying a one way ticket across the globe for a better environment… I pretty much enough money to only last one month. I had NO CLUE how’d I make any more to live. Stressful? Hell yeah. But what… 5 years later… it all worked out.